My Anxiety as a Grad Student

As I look back through Lynn Z. Bloom's essay (is that name real? I mean, really??), I have to agree with her findings about halfway through the essay on page 108. Here Bloom admits that competition is the main anxiety in graduate students. One of the students in her study, Ellen, admits that it can feel like “a reflection on your character if you take too long to write your thesis.” I cannot speak for my fellow students of course, but this is definitely a cause of anxiety for me. I often find myself in discussions with classmates about our progress on our ideas and our research. It’s very much a competition between us that none of us admits we’ve entered into.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about PhD programs, and my main anxiety here is that while I’ve always achieved A’s at GSU, will that mean anything to the schools I’d like to apply to? Is there even a point in applying to UT Austin or BU? How about long shots like Harvard, Princeton, or Berkley? My current professors might be impressed by my work, but what will the professors at these most elite of schools think? Will they laugh at my writing sample? Will they be able to see through me? To see my “ineptitude” (Bloom 105)? This is what makes me start scouring the internet in search of images for the New Voices conference instead of writing my blog entry.